I did not want to let my sweet Dylan down, but at the same time darling: a girl has got her needs. As you may recall, he only managed to meet them all once: Yesterday, and at that point the dirtiest of the deeds, or at least what I thought they were, had already been done. Sorry, I like my men reliable and constant. At this point you probably think that I am a heartless bitch, but believe me you don’t know a damn thing about me quite yet. After all what little girl do you know that would chose to have one doll when she could have two? (Remember that, the question will be of major importance in the increasingly near future). I figured that Dylan wouldn’t do a thing even if he found out; not I figured, so much as I knew with a hundred percent certainty. Do not get confused, I take risks in life, this is simply not one of them, that’s all. He simply all too nice. The very worst thing that could happen is that he kicks me out; which is definitely a stretch, and more so an impossibility. Dylan was just the kind of guy who would look in on himself, and try to improve or alter himself first before even asking me to do a single thing, and most, if not all, of the time he never did. However, it would be wrong for me to go after Tyler full force if the only thing I liked about him was the attitude or the better sex. No, no there was something way more important; far more meaningful there; something unique and permanent that made Tyler the apple of my eye; the diamond in the rough, but I could never in my life point it out to you. It was all too complex for me to explain to myself, never mind a whole audience. I mean can you tell me why you are with the other person in your relationship? Didn’t think so, and if you could then probably, just maybe, a bit of a selfish prick. Seriously, if you are able to come up with a laundry list of reasons then you literally don’t even care about them, and you probably can’t even admit it to yourself. But who am I kidding: You all are only as bad as me and you know it.
But do not close this chapter in frustration with my lack of character quite yet. See today whether I knew it then or not, I was going to be learning an extremely valuable lesson. A degree of appreciation for all that I had would soon wash over me. No worries though, I will still be all the more sexy. Since when is it not with me? I just do not learn anything unless someone teaches me through something naughty. Otherwise, if I do not learn something of substance now, I am screwed: completely and entirely screwed. I will be doomed to a permanent state of promiscuity, and everyone knows that this is only a good quality in any person when they are young, and only for a short time at that.
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